


Tears make you stronger

by Kigichi



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Tears, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 18:12:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3820045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kigichi/pseuds/Kigichi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Steve saw Bucky tear all he could think was <em>beautiful.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Tears make you stronger

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my few fics known as 'The Daily Buck' that I submit to steviebucks over on tumblr. Follow her for more!

Bucky cried easily 

The first time Steve saw Bucky tear all he could think was _beautiful._

It had been just after the boys met and they had spent the day running around the crowded streets of Brooklyn, taking turns slapping each other on the back and darting back into the crowd. 

(if Steve happened to notice that Bucky slowed down after the first time he started to wheeze he never mentioned it)

It had been dark and supper time was approaching and the boys were heading home, talking and laughing together. Steve couldn’t remember what was said, but he would never forget the way Bucky’s eyes filled with tears of mirth as the older boy giggled and snorted past his hand. Steve decided right then and there that he wanted to see more of it.  
\------- \------------  
The second most memorable time Steve could remember Bucky crying was a few years later, in some back ally somewhere standing over the still body of a kitten the Bucky had been feeding for the past few weeks, it’s tiny body still in the cold air. 

“I was going to bring it home.” Bucky whispered, breath hitching on each word as he tried to control the growing sorrow clawing at his throat. “I-I was..Ma said I could. Why did…Steve?”

Shaking his head, Steve keeled down, ignoring the small ache in his knees, and pulled Bucky to him, letting the brunette bury his face into the side of his neck, a few tears of his own slipping free when he felt his shoulder grow moist.

“It was cold, Buck. Nothing we can do about the cold.“ 

"But it’s not _fair_.” Bucky rasped, voice barley legible through the hacking sobs that were torn from his throat.

Steve said nothing, just held on tight, and, when Bucky was ready, helped him gather the tiny body up and give it a proper burial in the park.  
\--------   
Bucky hadn’t cried when Sarah died. That right belonged to Steve, and the few scattered remains of family that had gathered for her passing. Steve had been there for him so many times over the years when his emotions got the best of him, it was only fair that he do the same.

(His tears were saved for the dark of his apartment with nothing but a pillow as comfort)  
\--------   
Bucky clutched the letter in his hand, eyes watering as he stared down at the neat and tidy script printed on the page.

**JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES**  
has been duly registered this 16 of October, 1940…  
\--------   
Bucky stared down at the body in front of him, tears dripping down his face. 

It had been a kid. A fucking kid, barley old enough to even shave, and he had shot him, point blank. 

His first kill.

He had heard stories of peoples first kills in the army. Some where proud, a lot where struck with guilt over what they had done, but ultimately knew that it had come down to them or the other guy, and they did what they had to. That they did what was right and felt no regret for it.

A drip of still warm blood flowed down from the corpses head to stain the soiled dirt. The small meal Bucky had forced down earlier quickly followed.

At least Steve wasn’t here to see this.  
\---------   
_It hurt..._

“Be still now, boy, I don’t want to mess this up or I would have to start all over again. You don’t want that, do you?”

_It hurt. It hurts so bad._

“There we are, all set. Now, what is your name?”

_Hurts…_ "Go to hell.“

"Still so stubborn. Good, I like that. Now for this part I need you to do you’re very best not to bite your tongue. I’ll need it later to test the results of my little machine here. Brace yourself.”

_hurts, he hurts, it hurts, pain pain pa_ **in PAIN PAIN PAIN PAINPAINPAINPAINHURTSHURTSPAINHELPHELPHELPHELPHELHELP-**

**STEVE!**

“J-JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES, ID NUMBER 86273. JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES, ID NUMBER 86273…”  
\---------   
He was out and Steve was big and he could not have stopped his tears even if he wanted to. Instead he just clung to the warm body in front of him, biting down on the material of Steve’s jacket to muffled his cries, and let go.

He knew Steve would be there for him when it was all over.  
\---------   
They were laying in bed together, a rarity that everyone learned to cherish in between missions. Steve’s hand was on his face and their legs were twined, the cooling remnants of their coupling staining the sheets below and leaking down his thighs.

He would claim it was sweat dripping down his face when Steve said he loved him. 

“I love you, I love you. God, Steve, I love you, too…”  
\---------   
It was cold and he hurt. 

He could remember the fear, the screaming terror in Steve’s voice when the blast took him out the door, the look on his lovers face when he slipped and plummeted down, down, down…  
Bucky never wanted to die this way. Cold and alone and leaving Steve behind. He wanted to be there with him until the end. Until the end of it all and they were both old and grey. 

He felt the darkness creeping over his vision, and a single tear slipped down his face.

“Bye, Stevie.”  
\---------   
James Buchanan Barnes cried easily.

The Winter Solider never shed a tear.


End file.
